I-IT
COMMUNICATION: Is the communication that happens on superficial level. I-IT communication
often times does not acknowledge the presence of the person with whom we
communicate but seems like talking to an object.
I-YOU
COMMUNICATION: Is the communication that goes one level up in comparison to
I-IT communication as we acknowledge the presence of the person
EXAMPLE:
I always go to a small Asian Indian grocery store in Santa Clara for buying my
weekly groceries. The woman at the counter is very helpful in finding stuff at
the crowded shelves, but I never actually noticed her name or spoke to her with
eye contact. One day I forgot the yogurt and milk carton at the counter and
realized only after coming home. I called the grocery store and the owner asked me
the name of the person at the check out counter. I forgot but described the
lady by saying I have seen her at the store for past 3 years. The owner asked me to
comeback with the receipt and get my stuff. When I went next day to pickup my
stuff, the counter woman walked to me and introduced herself with her name and
told me that she actually tried calling me after I left the store, but I did
not hear her. Thus my relationship with the woman changed from I-IT to I-YOU
after that incident. Now whenever I walk into the store, I greet her and talk
to her. In fact she gives me tips on deal of the day and helps me find rare Indian
groceries in the store.
Your post gives a great example of I-IT and I-YOU communication. I never really thought about communication in this way until I read this topic. Now I think back to my relationships with everyone in terms of communication. I find that since I am a very passive person I have a lot of I-IT communication because I am too shy to introduce myself and talk about interests, hobbies etc. I think I have limited myself in this way which is why I don't have a large group of friends. However, my husband is the opposite and he tends to have I-YOU communication with many different people because he is very personable. Now that I have identified the different types of communication I want to make it my goal to have more I-YOU communication.
ReplyDeleteI never really thought of me being the I-IT communicator for a while, until I started getting personal reviews from some of my friends and work colleagues. Your example, sort of gave me an insight of what I used to be before I changed my character from being an I-IT to an I-YOU communicator. I mostly behave like that to people am not used to or people I feel they are to opinionated. I finally realize that to get along with people and get the most out of them, I had to be patient enough to understand their personality and know the way they communicate in other for me to be a better I-YOU communicator.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading your post. It gives a great example of the difference between the I-You communicator and the I-It. I was actually able to learn from reading your post and see the different examples of how each communicator works. It was hard for me to think about a moment when I used the "I-It" communicator, but after reading your post, I was able to remember times when I have used that communicator. It is crazy how you first had an I-It relationship with the lady at the store, but because of the groceries you forgot, you now have the I-You relationship with her. Your post was really informative.
ReplyDeleteThis story really made me realize how often our relationships are I-It. We see the same people all the time at the grocery store, restaurants or even at clothing stores, but we never really make an effort to improve those relationships and make them grow. You never know what you could be missing out on by not talking to someone or taking the chance to get to know someone. You could be missing out on a really great friendship just because you never thought to ask someone as simple of a question as what their name is. The other thing this makes me think of is selfless giving, or giving without expecting anything in return. Doing something as simple as asking someone how their day was or thanking them can do some much. Sometimes people need the reassurance that there are people that care. And getting to know someone a little better that you didn’t know before could do just that even if the relationship never moves past being I-You.
ReplyDeleteI like how you described an I-it relationship that a lot of people have in their everyday life but fail to notice. We go through our normal days without acknowledging most of the people who do simple things for us (i.e grocery bagger, teller, etc..) It was nice of you to start having an I-you relationship with her after that incident, because she was extremely kind to you and your situation. Also, it comes with many perks like tips on daily tips of the day :) You encourage me to do the same with people who I encounter while I go about my day. It really made me think about all the other I-it relationships I have with many people. Thank you for making me realize that!
ReplyDeleteThis inspires me to get to know more cashiers! For a good year and a half, I have been a regular at a small café, and the same worker takes my orders over and over, but I never care to ask his name or have small talk with him because I only ever think of him as my cashier. After reading your story, however, I think I shall change our relationship from and I-It to an I-You relationship! Perhaps then, I can discover more dishes on the menu and which drinks and snacks go well together, or maybe we can develop an I-Thou relationship!
ReplyDelete